When Your Body Is Bone Tired

Making Sense of Deep Foundational Body Fatigue

Today I woke up and heard the words “bone tired.”

I’ve never used those words before. But never have they felt so true. I’m sure I went to bed at my normal weight, but woke up as heavy as a tank, melting into my bed. It wasn’t me lying there. It was some form of me sinking into the bed. I’ve been tired in my life, but not bone tired.

This is bone tired.

Can you relate?

I had to turn to the internet to find out “what exactly does it mean to feel bone tired?” Clearly, my 206 bones, made primarily of collagen and other minerals, don’t have feelings. My bones aren’t talking to me about my busy day schedule, nor are they complaining about a poor night’s sleep. Bones aren’t like muscle or soft tissue, which can experience fatigue. They can send messages of pain, but not fatigue. The message was coming from another body source, not my bones, but it used my bones as effective imagery to get my attention. Mission accomplished. I’m paying attention

“Be gracious o me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled.” Psalm 6:2

Theologically, the Bible has a more robust understanding of bones. To the Hebrews, bones symbolize strength, vitality, and are essential to life itself. Biologically, our bones are essential for our bodies to move, stand, and animate. Our bones provide the infrastructure for an upright life and give our body a frame.

Bones are the core support system of the human body.

When someone says they are bone tired, what they mean is they have deep, structural, foundational fatigue.

Yup. That’s me.

That fatigue message is not coming from my actual bones but from my nervous system, which keeps watch over the dials of all my energy needs, whether mental, physical, social, or emotional.

When deeply fatigued, the nervous system conserves energy output. If energy output, mentally, physically, socially, or emotionally, surpasses energy input in the form of food, sleep, rest, and recreation, our nervous system will hold back resources to keep LIFE in our bones.

My bones are getting close to being on life support.

Other signs of deep, foundational fatigue for me have been:

• I don’t want to exercise - Guys, this is a crazy new one for me. I am a woman of great joy and animation. Like all the days of my life, until the most recent of days. Moving my body has felt like a chore. Dare I say this…I sort of dread it. I pull up my workout pants and roll my eyes. Ugh. I don’t feel like it. This makes total sense, since physical exercise, at its best, is not for external aesthetics. It’s for internal health, and when done correctly, can eventually be seen externally in body change and muscle tone. Exercise primarily activates and modulates our nervous system. For all of you who have NEVER felt the joy of moving your body, I get it. I feel it in my bones. But I also know, this is not going to be true for me. It’s a moment wrapped in a message. I’m going to pay attention. I’m already hearing from the Holy Spirit as to what needs to change for a set time to get my joy of movement back. For this former obssessor, it’s going to take some trust. But I’m down. Is the enemy trying to tell me I’m going to lose my “itness level, and muscle tone…blah blah blah..yes. But he’s a punk. I hate him. And I’m going to tick him off by not listening to him. “Watch me do what you tell me I can’t” is a phrase I often say to him. That sentence is the match strike behind Revelation Wellness today. It’s a phrase written in my bones. I will not let the liar bully the life out of my bones.

• My brain is tired – when deeply fatigued, the brain literally reduces motor drive to conserve survival energy. Geesh. Even as I type this right now, I’ve had to backspace and stumble over the keyboard trying to find the words. My thoughts feel like mush. Writing and creating in this space is like fumbling and bumbling around in the dark. I keep stubbing my toe and banging into walls. It’s deeply frustrating, and that frustration only adds to the emotional drain and fatigue. It’s why you haven’t heard from me much over here, although the best-rested me has no shortage of creative, even a little weird, ideas, and LOVES to communicate those ideas about God and our bodies with anyone who will listen.

• My mouth is getting me in trouble – Yah—the worst part of being deeply fatigued. You can’t find the words you want to say but the words you don’t want to say..those suckers come out real easy.

The body doesn’t only keep the score; it also sets the rules for how the game is played, how long it will last, how long you will be able to play with your teammates, and how much energy you will bring to the field.

Our renewed life in Christ comes with one earthly problem: our souls, filled with the wonder and glory of God and chasing after the things of God, will always be bigger and heavier than our little old 206-boned body frame can carry.

May this message magnify the beauty that God himself would come for us through his son Jesus, in the likeness of man and LIMIT himself by putting on flesh and 206 bones. He did so, so we could have LIFE back in our bones. But make no mistake, Jesus, in body, was limited. All of heaven’s divinity, crammed into a 206 boned frame, rode the waves of a hormonally charged nervous system that has one job to do – to keep us thinking, feeling, doing, and living well with our soul energy.

Let me know in the comments if you’re feeling any of these things.

Yes, our bodies keep the score, but the Holy Spirit always wins the game.

Tired, but not quitting,

Alisa.

For those of you who want a better understanding of your body, next week I’ll be kicking off The Five-Day Hormone Reset. It’s just $20. Come learn how your hormones and nervous system work when at their best, what makes a mess of them, and what you can do to bring your body to its best in “the game” :) (Replay is available if you can’t attend live.)