"Simon, your wife is hurting. What she needs is safety. It would be best at this time if you moved out of the house, so she and the kids could move back in. The first step in reconciling a broken relationship is safety.", said our first-ever counselor, who loved the Lord, and was helping us fight for our marriage.
This post is not about the testimony of my marriage. I don't feel called to go into all that right now. If you know, you know. If you're a Revelation Wellness Instructor, you know. It's definitely a story for the history books of God. Our marriage was very broken, and by God's grace, we remained faithful to our vows with the choices we made. For better or for worse. Through faithfulness, God is making us whole.
What I feel compelled to write and talk about is safety.
When someone is hurt, they will only take steps towards a new way or a new life once they sense they are safe. First physically (food, water, warmth, shelter), then emotionally.
If you're reading this, you are most likely physically safe. Let's talk about emotional safety.
My working definition of emotional safety is this; feeling confident that you can express loving or hurtful thoughts and feelings with another without fearing further relational harm to yourself or causing harm to another.
Right now, in your life, how emotionally safe do you feel?
OH my goodness. What the world needs now is SAFE people. With so many people hurting, wading through an ocean of loss and pain, the first step to regaining ground is safety. The world needs more safe people.
I hope and pray that I am a safe person. I hope and pray that those I have the honor of disciplining are making it their goal to be safe people. I hope we all aim to be safe people who can stand with the hurting, not wag a finger, tap a toe or fold our arms in judgment and disbelief. Safe people default to love. Love at all times because they know THAT THEY KNOW they are deeply loved. And those who know they are deeply loved are safe. They do not fear. And they especially do not fear man. Because they know they are loved by God, they know they are here to provide love and care for mankind, just like Jesus did.
People who know they are safe are as bold as lions. They go to war for the care and freedom of others. Safe people are like first responders, EMTs, who know they are equipped and trained to step back onto the battflield - the very place where they took a wrong step and got their face blown off. They looked to God to save them. They looked to God for their safety. In seeing Him their faces were restored by a radiance without shame. Safe people are purveyors of peace. Safe people know where their help comes from. They are agile and ready to run into the fire to save another, even if it costs them their own lives. They refuse to step back into the shadows to stay safe and protect themselves. Safe people fear God only and have no fear of man. When offended by another safe people have no fear. When wounded by a weapon of the enemy, that isn't people, the only thing safe people fear is not going to God first when injured. Then when stuck in a trap of unforgiveness, without fear, they go to the other person who the enemy used to hurt them. They do not fear hurting the other person or disrupting friendship because they want to stay free and set the other free from the ongoing use of a weapon or a trap of the enemy. Safe people know they are safe so they don't fear conflict.They go low and kindly to another and they bring the safety of heaven with them. Remember our working definition of emotional safety "safety is feeling confident that you can express loving or hurtful feelings without fearing further relational harm to yourself or causing harm to another.
Friends, every human being will fail you, but God never will. Your safety is found in Him and Him alone. To become a lighthouse, a city on a hill, a city of refuge, a place where hurting people can come, let us grow in the knowledge of how safe we are in the Lord.
Let us become so confident in the Lord that our safety in Him drives us to a boldness where we can declare, "To live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)
Living in this WILD and Free safety will change our hearts and ultimately change the world.
Listen to today's podcast above for a little extra on what we can do to grow in the knowledge that we are safe and so we are bold in the Lord.
Do you have safe people in your life? If so, or not, share below. Tell me more.
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Where My Safe People At?