Head, Heart, Hands Newsletter

Fighting Shame. How Not to Quit. Listening to My Body Cues.

Before I get to sharing in this week's Head, Heart, Hands Newsletter, I want to say hello and welcome to some new body freedom-fighting friends around here. However you found this place, I am grateful, and I pray it serves you well as you do your very darn best to stay body-free in a very swirly, shame, fear, and guilt-provoking world.

Reminder: we each come here believing all kinds of cultural messages and personal body stories. We all bend towards obsessing or neglecting our bodies. Anytime anyone dares to share teaching or insights concerning our bodies, feelings of fear, shame, guilt, wanting, and hating will show up.

Our bodies are part of our tri-part image-bearing(ness)of God: body, soul, and spirit. Our image-bearing has been under attack since Satan, the opposer of God and all that is good, watched as God made male and female in His image. Satan hates our bodies as they house our life energy and give us the ability to increase good and life. In his jealousy, Satan lied to us about who God is and who we are. We believed the lie and everything good got messy. The ability to see our bodies rightly distorted and our flesh desires took solid root. Historically, the church has been timid in teaching a whole gospel that includes the body and has focused more on spiritual issues while weak on physical matters, like our fearfully and wonderfully made bodies and our role in stewarding creation.

Where the church is silent, the world is loud.

Read my recent post on our need for better body theology and a little history of the church.

I say all this to say that whatever I share here, I expect there will be times you struggle with what I have to say. You might get rubbed wrong. And friend, that is okay! I only see in part, and so do you. But I can promise you this: whatever comes up for you holds healing potential. I promise you with all my guts, it's the only thing I want for you and for us – healing. As I share, if something comes up for you that feels like anger, fear, or shame, and you want to quit on your pursuit of body freedom, take that feeling before God in view of His mercy and His word. Ask Him what He thinks, but ask WITHOUT fear or condemnation present. This is key; if fear or shame show up for you, it's because God wants to heal you of body fear and shame. 1 John 4:18 says that God is perfect love, and there is no fear in perfect love.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

God wants to love the hell (the fear, shame, and guilt) out of your good body.

Your body, the shape of your thighs, the curve of your face, the length of your frame, and your brain's neuroplasticity are made in the image of Perfect Love. I pray whatever I teach, preach, or write draws you closer and closer to Perfect Love who knows what it's like to be human – to ache and not get all you hope for on this side of being a glorified body like Jesus is today in heaven.

Lord have mercy, that was a long intro. I just want to be careful and tender with all hearts because I KNOW how much the enemy hates the vision I see, and that's YOU enjoying your life, embodying your faith, showing the world the freedom for which Christ has set you free!

All right, so this week, I'll keep it short and sweet about what I'm learning (head), what I'm loving (heart), and what I'm doing/ practicing (hands).

Something I'm learning:

One of the common frustrations for people who want to improve their health is that they feel like they are working so hard, doing all the right things, but then when they don't SEE any change they're over it and quit. They get going but can't keep the desire to keep going because change isn't coming fast enough. Man, if this isn't a reality for anyone who wants change. It doesn't even have to be body related. Desiring to see relationships or our finances improve takes more time than we hope for or think it will. So, I addressed this common quit on the Revelation Wellness podcast this week. I detailed what's needed before you begin and to keep going when you feel like quitting, and here it is; before you get going towards change, you need to establish if the motivation is intrinsic or extrinsic. In other words, you have to get honest with yourself and ask the Holy Spirit, who knows you better than you, Do I want this change because I want to see change around me, or do I want this change because I want to see change in me?

Do you want to see change around you, like your reflection in the mirror or the number on a scale? Or do you want to see a change in you, like living with body confidence and trust, making body peace and living gratefully for your body ability, loving who you are today, appreciating what your body has walked through that Satan thought would kill you while staying excited about the person you are becoming?

Let me be clear: being intrinsically motivated doesn't mean you won't see extrinsic change. If you stay connected to your intrinsic motivations and what you want as it connects to who you are becoming, you have something more substantial to build on and work with than a passing flesh and culturally based body ideal.

Another essential thing to know is that intrinsic motivations are less likely to last if you try to make a change alone. Healing happens in connection. I'm going to say that over and over until my last breath. God has wired us for connection. Just like our smartphones won't work unless charged and plugged in daily, our motivations won't stay charged unless we plug into a community of people connected to God and others. I'm sure it's why one of my first acts in ministry God placed on my heart was to create the Revelation Wellness Instructor/Coach community. Year after year, I watch people get body free before my eyes, but only as they get honest with other people about their body shame, aches, and pain.

If you're interested in joining our training community, next class starts 2/18. Early bird pricing ends 2/4. Here's a link to learn more.

On the podcast, I go into deeper practical detail and ask deeper questions for you to work through over the weekend. Take a listen if you want to hear my guts bleeding through my podcast mic into the airwaves. I'm pretty sure Satan is fit to be tied right now since I turned over his boundary stone. He hoped we all would keep staring and quitting so he could keep compounding shame.

Something I'm loving:

I sound like a broken record, but I'm loving how much better I feel living hydrated. Guys, this is a big deal for me. In the past, I could go for an entire workday without one drink of water. What in the world? How in the world did I ever parent, write a book, make an executive decision for Revelation Wellness or file my taxes over the last 25 years?

I've been looking back and wondering what the heck happened. It seems that once I left the corporate health and fitness space, became a mom, and started sharing my water levels with my children, something went awry. I got busy momming my children, and then ministering to others. I haven't been great at n paying attention to this one essential body need. Yet still, I could throw back a couple of Kombuchas in a day. So, as of the new year and starting Focus 40, where we aim to drink at least 80 ounces of water a day (or ½ your body weight in ounces), I've been on the hydration train. And oh, my word. Game changer. Right now, it's 9:04 am, and I'm sitting on an eastbound plane with over 32 ounces in my body already and another 32 in my bag that sits at my feet. As I type right now, I can tell I'm thirsty. Because I got bossy with my flesh and told it Listen up! We're getting hydrated! , my body is now telling me more obviously what it needs. (Sidenote: isn't it the worst when you're a window sitter on a plane, trying to stay hydrated, then must ask your whole row to pack up their 12 feet of rectangular airspace life so you, the girl who would dare to drink water on a plane, can go to the bathroom? Pray for me. I will make a break for it after I wrap up this post.

Takeaway: Drink more water. Your body's 12 systems will feel born again, swimming around in the life-sustaining elixir, and your brain will have a chance at making better decisions.

Something I'm doing:

Drinking more water has caused me to pay more attention to more of my basic body needs throughout my day. Drinking more water has made my hunger cues louder and clearer, which makes sense since studies show that dehydrated people often confuse their thirst with hunger. In light of that, I'm ending this post now because I have to start packing up my life and turn up my confidence and kindness as I force two unsuspecting, in-between asleep and awake strangers to pack up their lives so I can go to the bathroom and fight off feelings of shame that could come with side-eye looks and sighs.

Takeaway: Listen to your body's needs, take up space, and absorb no shame. We're all just image-bearers fighting body shame battles and needing bathroom breaks.

I Would love to hear at least one intrinsic motivation that keeps you keeping on when wanting to quit doing the healthy thing. Comment below.

Have a fun body and soul restorative weekend!

Alisa